College changes you. People said it so often, yet I never truly believed it until I experienced it for myself. It was a truth universally unacknowledged. In my safe little world of high school, I was blissfully aware of how known I was. People knew details of my life because I let it all hang out. I was, in a way, an open book. I thrived on the approval of others and the feeling of being accepted into the society of high school. But once the music of college begins, my friends, that's when the fun truly begins.
It's honestly awe-inspiring, even refreshing, of how unsure of myself I became on my first day of college. The student body of Utah State University is exponentially bigger and, truth be told, I know an incredibly small portion of my own classmates. I'm unknown. I'm a question mark. I pass others on the breezeways and sidewalks who haven't the slightest idea what my name is, who my family is, and what I do in my everyday life. At first, I was so daunted by that notion. I'd worked for 18 years of my life to build up a reputation with the same people I see every single day, and suddenly, all of that had gone away. But think about it for a moment.
Imagine your slate being wiped clean. In high school, I'd hear conversations of fresh starts and clean slates, but at the center of that conversation was a clear lack of sincerity. You still had well formed opinions of people, and whether or not they could change your notions of them was completely up to you. Suddenly, you're stuck in a sea of people who have no idea who you are. You're fresh. You're new. In a way, you've been reborn. There's no need to worry about what others think of you, because frankly, they aren't thinking of you the majority of the time. College is a big hustle and bustle of classes, parties, and dates, and in the middle of all that, I haven't any sort of patience for drama. It just doesn't happen anymore.
In a recent visit back to my alma mater, it blew my mind how absolutely nothing had changed. The same people were worried about the same old things. Crushes and relationships fly to and fro. I never realized until now how incredibly trivial it all really is. I'm being constantly updated of my high school friend's opinions of each other. I mean, heaven forbid if someone flirts with more than one person, that's two hours worth of conversation. In the first five minutes of my very first class on my very first day of college, I was asked out. I was prone to say no, but guess what? Absolutely no one noticed. And if someone had, I doubt they really would have remembered it at the end of the day.
And that's what is so truly wonderful about life these days. I may not be mature, I may not have any wisdom to give, and I surely may not know what I'm doing all of the time. But that's just the point. It's my life to live, and at the end of the day, no one cares now.
It's honestly awe-inspiring, even refreshing, of how unsure of myself I became on my first day of college. The student body of Utah State University is exponentially bigger and, truth be told, I know an incredibly small portion of my own classmates. I'm unknown. I'm a question mark. I pass others on the breezeways and sidewalks who haven't the slightest idea what my name is, who my family is, and what I do in my everyday life. At first, I was so daunted by that notion. I'd worked for 18 years of my life to build up a reputation with the same people I see every single day, and suddenly, all of that had gone away. But think about it for a moment.
Imagine your slate being wiped clean. In high school, I'd hear conversations of fresh starts and clean slates, but at the center of that conversation was a clear lack of sincerity. You still had well formed opinions of people, and whether or not they could change your notions of them was completely up to you. Suddenly, you're stuck in a sea of people who have no idea who you are. You're fresh. You're new. In a way, you've been reborn. There's no need to worry about what others think of you, because frankly, they aren't thinking of you the majority of the time. College is a big hustle and bustle of classes, parties, and dates, and in the middle of all that, I haven't any sort of patience for drama. It just doesn't happen anymore.
In a recent visit back to my alma mater, it blew my mind how absolutely nothing had changed. The same people were worried about the same old things. Crushes and relationships fly to and fro. I never realized until now how incredibly trivial it all really is. I'm being constantly updated of my high school friend's opinions of each other. I mean, heaven forbid if someone flirts with more than one person, that's two hours worth of conversation. In the first five minutes of my very first class on my very first day of college, I was asked out. I was prone to say no, but guess what? Absolutely no one noticed. And if someone had, I doubt they really would have remembered it at the end of the day.
And that's what is so truly wonderful about life these days. I may not be mature, I may not have any wisdom to give, and I surely may not know what I'm doing all of the time. But that's just the point. It's my life to live, and at the end of the day, no one cares now.
