Before We Turn to Stone: A Note Before I Graduate

In true Brock Christian Wilson fashion, I'm sitting on my computer at 11:17 at night, with a Diet Coke in tow. Turn to Stone by Ingrid Michaelson is playing on repeat (surprise, I know, considering the title of my post) and I felt the need to blog. I'm graduating from high school tomorrow. While it won't be the most incredible thing that will ever happen in my life, I haven't gone through a transition like this before. The physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional stress I have felt in the past few weeks have been more intense than anything I've ever felt in my life. It's hard for me to think about tomorrow, but I know now that I have to face it like a brave little diva, rather than a wimpy freshman (no offense, but freshman are wimpy).

When I think back on the 2011-2012 school year, I remember how incredibly diverse it was month to month. Most of the time, I was as happy as a clam. Sky View High School was my playground and I fully intended to work hard and play hard. There was nothing I couldn't do. This, my friends, is a notion I think everyone has as they begin their senior year. It seems so cliche to say it, but you really are the top dog when you are a senior. By then, no one really cares about what anyone else is doing and everyone just kind of accepts that crap happens and you move on. It's so fascinating when you notice that the entire class is maturing as a whole. You say you wouldn't ever conform, but you do regardless. You have to accept the fact that things change. And usually, they are changing for the better.

There are so many good, incredible people I've met through my high school career, but my senior year was packed to the rafters with examples of who I want to be when I grow up. Amazingly enough, if you pause long enough to look around, you can find those people where you least expect them. I remember meeting one girl in my Psychology class who, come to find out, was so much smarter than anybody would ever give her credit for. It astounded me that nobody had noticed before. Another, I met through Encore, and he became one of the best friends I will ever have. And he plays (epic gasp) a sport. Yeah. I, Brock Christian Wilson, the effeminate diva with a heart of bronze (gold is too good for me, let's be real), am friends with a jock. I never thought the day would come.

It's also at this point that, despite my better judgment, I'd like to finally admit something. Most of you know, and you're probably the only people who will actually read this. I've been called so many derogatory terms and so many horrible things over the years for choices I've made and things I've come to accept about myself. But with mocking comes growth. I've realized that my personal life is my personal life. I'm sure you get what I'm saying, so I don't feel the need to make an actual confession. It is none of your freaking business. :)

As I've been growing up, I've realized that I haven't been as good of a person as my mommy raised me to be. I'm not the son she wished for and I accept that. I don't think any of us are quite what our parents expected. We're loud, we smell, we're kind of slutty at times. But, to quote my dear Ke$ha, we are who we are (I refuse to spell it like she does). If we can find the worse parts of ourselves, then we can know what to improve. For those I've hurt over the years, I'm truly sorry. At times, I can be a horrid person.

The last thing may be the most important. I may lose some of my readers (are there any?!) with this, but I don't really care. I, Brock Christian Wilson, owe my happiness and everything I have been blessed with to my Heavenly Father. The Gospel is true and it is the only way any of us can find happiness in our lives. This may seem so ridiculous coming from me (or anyone), but I don't say this in gest. I am proud to admit I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I really don't know who I would have been in high school without it.

So, this is me. I'm graduating. I'm a diva. I have an addiction to Diet Coke. I'm twenty pounds overweight, although I tell people it's five. I'm a lot shorter than I like to think I am. I've never seriously dated anyone. I believe Pretty Little Liars is the best show on television. I'm a gossip. I hold onto the past much more than anyone should, but I'm working on it. And I'm a Mormon (hahahahahahah get it, like those videos?!).