The Tigers Do, In Fact, Come At Night

Just (Three-Way) Married!

You know it's been a long summer when this happens in one of your dreams. I've formed the opinion that, in usual circumstances, dreams often have deep, psychological meaning to them. I love the feeling waking up the morning after a question you've been dreading or a choice you've been fearing now seems so simple. Those are the sort of dreams I pray for. To be lucky enough to receive a confirmation or a warning of some sort is always a reminder that God is with us. However, one lazy Sunday night, it seems my dreams had other plans.

I've been known to have my fair share of bizarre dreams on occasion. A few weeks ago, I had a dream that, after a lenghty audition process, I was given the role of Fantine in a local production of Les Miserables. I'm sure I can belt out I Dreamed a Dream just as well as Patti Lupone or Lea Salonga. Can you imagine the raw, powerful emotion I could bring to the song, ala Miss Anne Hathaway? On a side note, if you haven't seen the trailer for the movie adaptation with Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, and Amanda Seyfried, YouTube it. Now. I remember feeling fairly nervous about my audition. After all, who wouldn't be? But once the director heard my rendition of 'Life of the Party' from The Wild Party (YouTube that also), I know she felt what I felt. I was born to play Fantine. Just take a look.

Salonga

 

Hathaway

Wilson

It's just a given. 

Now, back to the dream in question. It's not that I don't find Chris Brown and Lindsay Lohan appealing (isn't Miss Lohan just looking LOVELY lately? Why wouldn't I want a shared husband notoriously infamous for beating up his pop star girlfriend?!), I'm starting to think that, despite what Utah tells me, I might be a bit too young for unholy matrimony. Thankfully, I haven't the 'privilege' of meeting either one of my 'dream' spouses. We lived in a ridiculously large mansion in Beverly Hills, and as I prepared a pizza for dinner that evening, my beloved Husband and Wife began an argument about the thickness of the crust.

My husband Chris Brown was fairly certain that the less popular, Chicago style deep dish pizza was appropriate, while a much drugged up Lindsay Lohan was far more certain a thin, New York style pizza was the answer. A heated argument ensued. As my spouses went to bat, I realized how ridiculous the marriage was in general. I voiced my discomfort with the situation. Chris and Linds (sitcom, anyone?!) turned to me and, in heated anger, both admitted they felt a divorce was appropriate. As tragic as it was, our three-way marriage was coming to an abrupt end, over pizza no less. Yes. Chris Brown and Lindsay Lohan divorced me over pizza crust. Now, I'm not one to point fingers, but WHAT DIVAS! Make your own pizza next time ex-husband/wife!